In 2017 I re-discovered a love for console gaming after playing: Dragon Age: Inquisition, and Horizon: Zero Dawn. I was born in 1992 and I wouldn’t call myself a “gamer.” I wouldn’t even say that I am anywhere near any sort of classification when it comes to video games. The word casual feels right, but it’s broad. This is my* console history:
- Super Nintendo (some point in the 90’s).
- Sega Genesis (also some point in the 90’s).
- Playstation (probably the late 90’s if not the year 2000).
- Gamecube (early 2000’s).
- Xbox 360 (Mid 2000’s).
- Nintendo Wii (late 2000’s maybe even 2010?).
*By “my” I, of course, am referring to my brother and myself, as anyone also born after the early 80s and has siblings can attest, video game consoles were and are a shared experience.
Again, not a “gamer.” From the PlayStation to the Wii, all of the consoles were Christmas morning surprises. They were likely all signed by Santa, except maybe the Wii, it would’ve depended on whether or not my sister could still hear the bell ring. Thinking back on those mornings, the same routine would unfold. The big gift was always addressed to all three of the Lemmen children. Even if Katie didn’t know how to ride a bike, she still held a 33.3 percent stake in the Gamecube.
During college this connection to consoles faded as my time was filled up with ultimate frisbee, parties, and the most glorious of collegiate pursuits: general time wasting (but in like the best possible sense). Fast forward to February 2017: I’m living in the DC metro area with my longtime girlfriend, Lacey, and I’m the proud owner of a two-year-old PS4, which I’ve mostly used for streaming purposes, or to play Madden while I listened to podcasts.
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My schedule is a little strange. I am a manager at a large retailer. I have the same day off every week, go in late to close the store once a week, and work every other weekend. It’s not as bad (or good) as it sounds. This gave me a lot of free time once football season ended when I was spending days off and mornings before closes, looking at the rosters of every team in each of my fantasy leagues. First I caught up on Mr. Robot, then I took on Westworld before I decided to rewatch Game of Thrones. Once I finished, I was left with a fantasy shaped hole in my life. I did a quick search to see if there was a Game of Thrones video game (there is, the reviews were underwhelming). But I needed to sate my fantastical appetite. I decided to dive back into a game I purchased when I got the PS4 two years earlier: Dragon Age: Inquisition.
Dragon Age: Inquisition was one of four games I bought when I first returned to the console universe, along with NBA Live 2016, Need for Speed: Rivals, and Call of Duty: Ghosts… Up to this point, I had mostly played Live, and that was as a way to pass time as I listened to podcasts while Lacey studied for the bar exam. I began a campaign in Dragon Age, played Need for Speed once, and I have literally never even opened Call of Duty: Ghosts.
I jumped back into Dragon Age. When I started the campaign two years earlier, I made it to the Hinterlands. I encountered a dragon. And that dragon fucked my shit up so quick, on repeat, until I just stopped playing…
See, the only RPG I had played in my illustrious gaming career was Pokemon; back when I could tell you my age by holding up my hands. Only I didn’t know that it was an RPG. For those who don’t know what an RPG is – and I know my once kindred spirits are out there – they are ‘role-playing games.’ Defined by generally having the same characteristics: create a character, follow a story in a world, increase your character’s strength and abilities with experience you gain by completing tasks. I could be wrong here, but I believe the main thing they all share is the leveling up aspect.
Anyway, I’m back in the Hinterlands with my tan, white-haired, human rogue, named: Derozan. (You’re my favorite non-Knick, Demar!) I make a crucial decision by deciding not to go through the cave leading to the dragon.
I wandered through the open world environment for a bit. I opened up the map and studied it closely, and finally realized that all of the little diamonds were different quests. Paths I could follow or not. Things were starting to fall into place. (Also, this is the sort of stuff the booklets that came in the video game case were for. I understand it’s probably all online, but my experience with online video game help centers around walkthroughs and cheat codes, neither of which I wanted to use to traverse Thedas.)
I completed a few quests that my level 5 character could handle, and found that I had leveled-up. I then realized this meant I had a point that I could spend to add another attack to Derozan’s arsenal. Also, Derozan could wield a bow and arrow, instead of daggers, which seemed way more my speed. I added a new move to my archer moveset tree, and then it clicked.
It was like Pokemon. You get experience points, level-up, and learn new moves. The series of revelatory “ohhhhhs,” that I went through was magical.
I don’t understand contextually how the game fits in within the landscape of RPG’s or the circle of gaming critics. What I do understand is: that game was awesome. I poured my free time into the Inquisition. I got my dude Derozan buff.
I would wake up early on days I didn’t have to work until mid-morning in order to fit in an hour of gameplay. I became wrapped up in the characters, the story, the history being unveiled as I dove deeper into the game. Gone were the days of getting roasted by the dragon in the Hinterlands…
That was when it hit me. I was at like level 17 now. I knew what I was doing (mostly). It didn’t seem like the dragons were really integral to the plot, but I took a hard detour back to the Hinterlands to roast that dragon. It only took one try to bring her down. While the game as a whole was unbelievably enjoyable, slaying that dragon was by far the most satisfying moment I’ve experienced while playing a video game.
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When I first popped my copy of Horizon: Zero Dawn into the PS4 I was skeptical. I was convinced it would pale in comparison to Dragon Age. Even if it were of equal quality, I thought to myself, there is no way it would measure up because I wouldn’t experience those same magical “ohhhhhs,” I did rediscovering video games through Dragon Age. Then I played for like fifteen minutes and realized a game where I fight robotic animal/dinosaur hybrids was exactly the game I dreamed existed as a kid.
It’s different from Dragon Age though. I didn’t create my character, I had to play as Aloy. An outcast of the Nora, with thick fiery red hair. After a few sessions, she became like a character from a favorite book. I understood her desires, her motivations, and I was rooting for her.
The plot of Horizon unfolds in layers. The world’s history is mysterious. It’s earth but is populated by primitive tribes that hunt mechanical beasts. The dude from The Wire shows up and starts dropping some knowledge about what happened as he assists you on your journey. And by the end of it all, I’m left thinking, Horizon was one of the best movies I’ve seen in the past few years.
One of the cool things about growing up playing Crash Bandicoot: Warped on the original PlayStation is that at this point in my life graphics are just gravy. Dragon Age was a few years old when I played it, and although that was beautiful, with Horizon I got to experience the new frontier of gaming graphics. The world that was rendered by the team behind Horizon is absolutely breathtaking; from desertscapes, to snowy mountains, to lush forests.
I’m nearly done with the ‘Frozen Wilds’ DLC, another feature of video game culture that didn’t really exist when I was younger. I’ve been taking my time with it though. I want to savor each new moment with Aloy. I can feel the thickness of the pages left between the fingers in my right hand becoming less.
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I’ve been told Witcher III: Wild Hunt is where I need to turn to continue devouring quality RPG. I’m about 3 percent in, stuck in another “this dragon keeps annihilating me,” situation. But I know how that story ends, so I’m not too worried about it.
I still don’t think I’m a gamer, but I grew up with video games. These games were new to me, but they brought me back to my childhood. Back to that childlike discovery. It’s something everyone searches for. To be taken on a ride, where your focus is sharpened and your worries evaporate in the process. I was just looking to pass the time on my days off. I’m glad I did.
Lemmen's Nursery 